A-Z of Funerals
If you are reading this article then you will have experienced a death of a loved one and are in one of the most stressful periods of your life. Take your time to think about what your loved one would want at their funeral or memorial service and make sure you are comfortable with the Funeral Director or Undertaker you are using. They should be there to help you think about what you want, what you need to do and help you with the arrangements at this difficult time.
A is for Arrangements and Ashes. When you have decided on your Funeral Director or Undertaker then they will help you with your arrangements and make sure you don’t forget anything. A reputable Funeral Director will talk to you about your options and won’t put any pressure on you to make any decisions. Always take a family member or a friend with you when choosing your Funeral Director as they will remember things that you won’t at this difficult time.
If you are having a cremation for your loved one then the Funeral Director will arrange for you to collect your loved one’s Ashes after the funeral or cremation service has taken place. It is up to you what you do with the Ashes and some people don’t make a decision on this straight away. Take your time and don’t feel you have to do anything with them quickly, as it may help you with your grieving process if you have them at home with you for however long you need.
B is for Burial. If you have decided on a burial for your loved one then your Funeral Director will talk you through the things you need to consider. Where would you like them to be buried, did they have wishes for where they would be buried? You will need to talk to the cemetery they will be laid to rest in and arrange their burial plot.
C is for Car. Your Funeral Director will talk to you about a hearse for your loved one to be taken to their funeral, memorial and final resting place. You can also opt for Funeral Cars to take close family members and friends to the funeral and your Funeral Director will talk you through the options and costs of these.
D is for Funeral Director. Choosing the right Funeral Director for you is crucial at this difficult time. They should be caring, helpful and have a high level of experience in arranging funerals or memorials. The Funeral Director will ensure that the arrangements that have been agreed with you are implemented, and the extra services that you need (order of service, memory books, flowers, collections, cars etc) are ordered and delivered at the right time. They should be in the background of the funeral at all times, quietly making sure that your plans and wishes are carried out.
E is for Eulogy. A Eulogy is a speech at a funeral or memorial service about the person who has passed away, A close family member, friend or the person delivering the service talks about their life, their loves, and it is a time, to sum up their life. A Eulogy is very difficult to write and deliver on the day so the person speaking needs to be prepared for lots of emotion when presenting it.
F is for Flowers and Floral Tributes. You may decide to have flowers for your loved one’s funeral and your Funeral Director will put you in touch with some local florists who can help you with these. Some people opt for close family and friend flowers only and ask for contributions to a charity that connects with their deceased loved one.
G is for Government Help and Grave. You may be able to apply for a Social Fund Funeral Payment to help with funeral costs and we have information on who may be eligible and how to make a claim. Payment can only be authorised by the Department of Work and Pensions who can be contacted at www.dwp.gov.uk.
If your loved one is being buried then you will need to arrange a burial plot or grave with your local church or cemetery.
H is for Headstone and Hymns. Your Funeral Director will give you the options for Headstones and Tombstones and will help you decide which one you wish to go for if you are having a burial or a memorial place if they are being cremated.
You may decide to have Hymns at the service and this is often quite difficult to decide on as there are so many to choose from. Did your loved one have a favourite hymn? If not and you don’t have any ideas then search the internet to find popular hymns to celebrate life and loved ones.
I is for Individual and Invites. The service you arrange should be individual for your loved one, representing them and their life. Your Funeral Director will help you with this and ideas but also ask family members and friends for anything that they feel would contribute to this special day.
You will need to invite family members and friends to the service and we would recommend you write a list of the people you think would like to attend and then ask a person from each social group to send the message and details out. A lot of people now do this using social media but this isn’t for everyone so ask your Funeral Director what they recommend.
J is for Just at the right time. When you are grieving for a loved one you need a huge amount of love and support around you at the right time. There will be times when you just want to be on your own and times when you need people, who love you, around you.
K is for Knowing the Process. It is really important that you know the process and knows whats happening at all times. A good Funeral Director will help you understand the things you need to think about, how and when to do them. Knowing this will help you feel more in control and not out of your depth at this heartbreaking time when your emotions will be running high.
L is for Local. We recommend you use a local Funeral Director as they will have the experience and local contacts, who have the experience to help you with arranging your funeral in the area they know.
M is for Memorial Service and Music. If you are having your loved one cremated then you can opt to have a memorial service for them either at the crematorium or at another venue close by. A Memorial Service helps you, family members and friends to remember your loved one and celebrate their life, and often helps with the grieving process.
A lot of people opt to have music played at the funeral or memorial service either when people are coming into the venue, when the coffin is being brought in and when it is being taken out. Think about the music that your loved one enjoyed and loved and how the music will help people remember them.
N is for Non-Religious. Some people opt for a non-religious memorial service and these often follow the same theme or format as a religious service but without the religious content, readings, and hymns and would have poems and music instead.
O is in Order of Service. Your Funeral Director will talk to you about an order of service for the people attending. These often include Music, Hymns, Words, Readings, Tributes, Photos and Starting Time. People really love to have an Order of Service to look at whilst they are waiting for the service to start and like to take it away with them as a remembrance of your loved one.
P is for Private Restroom. Your Funeral Director will have a Private Restroom where your loved one will be if you decide you want to visit them in-between their passing and the funeral service. The restroom will be private, peaceful and tranquil and it is where you can have the private time with them and perhaps say your final goodbye.
Q is for Quality Support and Guidance from your Funeral Director. Your Funeral Director should be experienced in arranging all types of funerals and memorials and they should give you quality and comforting support when you are going through this very difficult process.
R is for Registering a Death and Readings. When a loved one passes away you will need to register their death and when you have done this you will receive a death certificate that will need when going through your loved one’s probate. If you need access to your loved one’s bank account then transfer the money you need to arrange their funeral before you advise the bank of them passing as when a person dies their account is always frozen until probate is complete.
Lots of people opt to have readings or poems at the service and these will often talk about love, loss and celebrate your loved one’s life.
S is for Service. You may already know where you want your religious or non-religious service to be held and if not your Funeral Director will give you suggestions in the local area that you can contact.
T is for Traditional Coffins and Caskets. Your Funeral Director will stock and be able to order an extensive range of traditional veneer, oak, solid oak and personalised coffins in ranges of colours and styles. Check with them, but most coffins include a nameplate, 6 handles, full lining and appropriate fixtures and fittings. They will advise you which ones are suitable for cremation and their range should cover all budgets.
U is for Unimaginable emotion and loss. Your Funeral Director will understand your unimaginable emotion and loss when you have lost a loved one and will be caring and sensitive to this when you are arranging your funeral.
V is for Viewing and Visiting your loved one in the Funeral Directors Resting Home. Your Funeral Director will have a Private Restroom where your loved one will be if you decide you want to visit them in-between their passing and the funeral service. The restroom will be private, peaceful and tranquil and it is where you can take the time to perhaps say your final goodbye in private to your loved one.
W is for Will and Wake. A will is a legal document that is left by someone to communicate how they want their personal belongings and financial arrangements to be split. A Wake is a meeting of friends and family before or after a funeral or service to remember the person who has passed and celebrate their life.
X is for extremely sad and emotional time. As we said before this will probably be one of the most difficult times you will have in your life and you need to take the time for yourself so you can come to terms with it. Talk about your loss and how you are feeling and don’t ever hold your grief and emotions in.
Y is for Your Wishes. The funeral or service you arranging is all about yours and your loved one’s wishes. The Funeral Director you choose should respect and support you to make your arrangements as per yours and your loved one’s wishes. There is no such thing as a standard service, everyone is different and should symbolise them and their life.
Z is the last letter of the alphabet. If you have used our A-Z list to help you plan your funeral then we hope it has helped with creating a lasting memory of your loved one. Remember to take time for yourself to grieve amongst all of the organisation and processes and use family and friends around you to support with your grief and organising of your funeral.
Every send-off is a personal tribute, At Caerphilly Funeral Services we are flexible to accommodate any personal requests that you have in the planning of and the service itself. We understand how important it is that you give your loved one a meaningful and personal send-off, and it is our objective to help you with this.
We offer you empathy and support when you most need it, guiding you through the important things that you will need to consider at this emotional and heartbreaking time. We are there for you 24/7 and will always give you a professional and compassionate service to ensure your loved one gets a personal and dignified send-off.